Let's just start by noting that the bullets fired from James Earl Ray's rifle did not match the slugs removed from Martin Luther King's body. Score one for the wacko conspiracy buffs. I will now expect to see a bunch of articles in the mainstream media, apologizing for missing such an important story over the years while ridiculing anyone who dared speak of conspiracy. Any time now.Anyway, on to the Weirdest of Tucson winners. The champion in the crucial All-around Weirdest Tucsonan of the Year category, is none other than auto dealer/banker/ TV personality Jim Click, who, as you may recall, was also the winner in 1995. If this keeps up we'll have to include a Weirdest Tucsonan (besides Jim Click) category. Or grant him a Lifetime Achievement Award or something and retire him from the poll. But as we pointed out when he won two years ago, it's not just for his bad haircut and/or rug and his exorbitant bank feesÑit's also for supporting dangerous weirdos like George Bush and Ollie North. Weird what some people do with their money.
Comic News readers voted Chuck Huckleberry the Weirdest Local Politician, and Strom Thurmond edged out Jesse Helms for the National honors (you're not getting older, you're getting weirder). Fife, to no one's surprise, took Weirdest Politician Statewide, and came in a strong second for Weirdest Statewide (Besides Fife). But, of course, we won't have him to kick around much longer. Edging him out for second place was right-wing Senator Jon Kyl.
Good old Matt Bevel was voted the Weirdest Artist in town. Congratulations, Matt. Weirdest Writer honors went to fellow wacko conspiracy buff Walter Bowart, author of the out-of-print classic Operation Mind Control. It's weirder than you think, folks. Weirdest Musician was Cisco the Blues Man, and Weirdest Band was Al Foul and the Shakes. This year's Weirdest Cartoonist is Andy Mosier, creator of K Rat. The Weirdest Public Artwork (besides that thing in front of the library) are the giant tweezers on the east side of the U of A. And the Weirdest Architecture is the inverted pyramid Bank of America at Speedway and Wilmot.
Weirdest Natural Phenomenon? No contest, it's those strange lights over Phoenix that the governor took time out from his trial to help publicize.
The Weirdest Restaurant in Tucson is the beloved Cafe Magritte, where they take weirdness seriously. The Weirdest bar is the venerable Kon-Tiki. The Weirdest Art Gallery is the Realme, the Land of the Pharoahs. The Weirdest Bookstore is the dear departed Lighthouse Books, where one could inquire as to why this world is so weird. Weirdest Record Store is the never-open 23% Records, which may open next month. As for Weirdest Clothing Store, those honors go to relative newcomer Mr. Lulu's, who edged out the usual competition from Value Village and Goodwill.
Readers voted KXCI's Gimme Indie Rock as the Weirdest Radio Show, which doesn't really sound all that weird to me. Smooth-talkin' Guy Atchley edged out the Click family's own Boompa as Weirdest TV Personality. As for Weirdest Commercial, that new one from Wag's arrived too late for voting, so our winner is the amazing "Mr. Battery" spot from Batteries Plus.
Once again, the Tucson Citizen has beaten the Comic News and a host of other contenders for Weirdest Publication, though even the upcoming Tucson Monthly got a few votes, sight unseen. Wait'll next year!
And among the best suggestions for categories we should include next year are Weirdest Street Name and Weirdest Weirdest of Tucson Ballot. Thanks to all who voted. T-Shirt winners, selected at random, are Steve Minton, Rachel Sonnett, Liza Fleming, Kat Pulgas (sp?), Reuben Vinal, and Charlie from Tucson Map & Flag.